Top 30 chuck norris jokes

Top 30 chuck norris jokes: Chuck Norris memes have now taken the form of signature as the most indestructible and most dangerous thing in the form of Human, so the following are some of the best Chuck Norris Memes.

Chuck Norris, the action hero and novelist, celebrates his 80th birthday today. How about a collection of 80 of the funniest Chuck Norris jokes to commemorate the high-kicking actor’s birthday? Norris has been the subject of online jokes and memes for years as a result of his tough man image. One joke for every year of his life may be found below.

Chuck Norris, the roundhouse-kicking action hero, is one of the few celebrities who has generated a cult following. Because of his tough man image, the action actor has virtually established a second profession as an inspiration for memes and jokes. Fortunately, there are a plethora of amusing Chuck Norris jokes (or, maybe, Chuck Norris facts) to be found on the internet. Here are some of the finest new Chuck jokes to have in your back pocket so that you may attempt to outdo your pals the next time the topic of Chuck is discussed.

Jokes about Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is not a reader of literature. He continues to stare them down until he obtains the information he seeks.
Time is not a respecter of persons. Unless, of course, the guy in question is Chuck Norris.
If you can spell Chuck Norris correctly at Scrabble, you’ll be victorious. Forever.
Chuck Norris takes a deep breath… Five times a day is the norm.
In the beginning, there was nothing… until Chuck Norris kicked nothing in the face and ordered it to find a job.
God commanded the creation of light, and Chuck responded with, “Say Please.”
Chuck Norris like to start his day with a cup of nails instead of coffee.

If Chuck Norris were to go to an alternative universe in which there was another Chuck Norris and fight him, they would both come out on top, regardless of who they were fighting.
Once upon a time, the dinosaurs regarded Chuck Norris with disdain. You’re well aware of what happened to them.
Chuck Norris’ tears have the ability to heal cancer. It’s a shame he has never shed a tear.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot travelled faster than the speed of light for a split second.
When you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always responds with the phrase, “Two seconds till.” He strikes you in the face with a roundhouse kick when you inquire, “Two seconds to what?”
Chuck Norris made an appearance in the video game “Street Fighter II,” however he was deleted by Beta Testers since pressing any button allowed him to do a roundhouse kick. When questioned about this alleged “bug,” Chuck Norris said, “That’s not a glitch at all.”
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, the number of people killed by roundhouse kicks has risen by 13,000 %.
In order to serve vengeance properly, Chuck Norris does not possess a stove, oven, or microwave. After all, retribution is best served cold.
Chuck Norris is a man who does not sleep. He sits and waits.
Chuck Norris does not have a chin hidden beneath his beard. There is just one more fist available.
Chuck Norris’ most valuable export is his ability to cause pain.
Chuck Norris had the brilliant notion to sell his pee in cans, which he did lately. It is currently referred to as Red Bull.
What beats all three at the same time? If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beat paper, what beats all three at the same time? Chuck Norris is a fictional character created by writer Chuck Norris.
God took a day of rest on the seventh day… Chuck Norris stepped in to take control.
Chuck Norris has the ability to dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris takes a sip of napalm to alleviate his heartburn.
With the naked eye, Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is visible from space and is considered to be one of the most powerful ever observed.
If you’re looking for a list of Chuck Norris’ adversaries, go no further than the list of extinct animals.
For the whole of his life, Chuck Norris has maintained a perfect gaze. Never.
In one instance, Chuck Norris used his finger to bring down an enemy aircraft by screaming, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris does not utilise a spell-check feature on his computer. Oxford will correct him if he makes a grammatical error in the spelling of a word.
Some children mark their territory by peeing their names in the snow. Chuck Norris has shown his ability to urinate his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris’ calendar is set to run from March 31st to April 2nd, since no one can deceive the legendary martial artist.
Chuck Norris was able to count to infinity twice.
Chuck Norris is fluent in the Braille language.
Despite having both feet on the ground, Chuck Norris is capable of kicking butt at the same time.
Chuck Norris is capable of doing a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can run faster than anybody else in the planet.
Chuck Norris’ leg was once bitten by a snake. Five days of agonising agony finally brought the snake to its death.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves, which was a record at the time.
Chuck Norris considers champions to be his breakfast.
Every night before going to bed, the Boogeyman walks through his closet looking for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has the ability to smash spinning doors.
For Chuck Norris, hunting is out of the question since the term “hunting” suggests the potential of failure. Chuck Norris unleashes his vengeance.
Chuck Norris is a man who is frightened of the dark.
Chuck Norris has the ability to kill two birds with one stone.
Chuck Norris can play the violin and the piano at the same time.
Chuck Norris has the ability to make onions weep.
Death had a near-Chuck Norris moment once upon a time.
When Chuck Norris writes, he causes the paper to bleed profusely.
You can be strangled by a cordless phone in the hands of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never flees; instead, he strikes from the opposite direction of the first attack.
Chuck Norris is capable of creating a snowman out of rain.

You can be strangled by a cordless phone in the hands of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, and he never has. He is the one who determines what time it is.

If Chuck Norris were to go to an alternative universe in which there was another Chuck Norris and fight him, they would both come out on top, regardless of who they were fighting.

Chuck Norris has the ability to take out your imagined pals.

Chuck Norris is capable of understanding sign language.

Simon is given instructions by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has the ability to make onions weep.

Chuck Norris is aware of Victoria’s identity.

Chuck Norris was the first in his family to lose his virginity, before his father.