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Grad Quotes Funny – Short Funny Graduation Quotes

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Grad Quotes Funny
Grad Quotes Funny

Graduating is a significant milestone, and what better way to celebrate than with a touch of humor? Whether you’re looking for a witty caption for your Instagram-worthy photos or a funny message to include in a grad card, these quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face. So, let’s dive into the world of funny graduation quotes:

For those who have endured the challenges of academia, Robert Orben kicks off the humor with, “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” It’s a humorous take on the irony of conformity during a celebration of uniqueness.

A List Of 28 Funny Graduation Quotes For You

  1. “Don’t take life too seriously. No one makes it out alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
  2. “Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.” – Napoleon Hill
  3. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” – Theodore Roosevelt
  4. “At graduation, you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it.” – Greg Tamblyn
  5. “Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” – John Green
  6. “Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open.” – Thomas Dewar
  7. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” – Erma Bombeck
  8. “Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover!” – Patricia Akins
  9. “Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life.” – Gloria Davidson
  10. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” – Muhammad Ali
Grad Quotes Funny
Grad Quotes Funny
  1. “Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.” – Stephen Colbert
  2. “I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” – Jim Carrey
  3. “You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.” – Tom & Ray Magliozzi
  4. “You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.” – Aaron Sorkin
  5. “Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
  6. “The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” – Jon Stewart
  7. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.” – Ed Helms
  8. “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
  9. “Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.” – Al Bernstein
  10. “You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.” – Benjamin Franklin
Grad Quotes Funny
Grad Quotes Funny
  1. “Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.” – Gary Bolding
  2. “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
  3. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
  4. “To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.” – George W. Bush
  5. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – Mark Twain
  6. “Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.” – Mark A. Cooper
  7. “Dance like nobody’s watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.” – Unknown
  8. “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” – William Lyon Phelps

Patricia Akins provides practical advice for the job-seeking graduate: “Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books are judged by their cover!” This light-hearted quote adds a humorous twist to the serious task of job hunting.

Mark A. Cooper offers a reminder about the proactive approach to life: “Life has no remote….get up and change it yourself.” This quote encourages graduates to take control of their destinies and not wait for life to happen.

George Foreman reflects on his own experience with a humorous take on sleep and success: “I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.” This quote highlights the relatable struggle of early morning classes.

Harry Banks suggests a clever response to failure: “If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.” It’s a playful way of embracing setbacks and maintaining a sense of humor.

Elbert Hubbard offers a philosophical perspective with, “Do not take life too seriously — you will never get out of it alive.” This quote encourages graduates to approach life with a light heart and not let challenges weigh them down.

Sarah Brown delivers an amusing insight: “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” This quirky quote reminds us that success often requires more than just sitting back – it requires action and effort.

Muhammad Ali injects a dose of confidence with, “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” This humorous quote emphasizes the potential for greatness even in unconventional beginnings.

Thomas Dewar uses a metaphor to convey the importance of an open mind: “Minds are like parachutes — they only function when open.” This witty quote encourages graduates to stay open-minded and embrace new ideas.

James E. Ryan playfully comments on the length of graduation speeches: “Each year at graduation, I am obliged to offer a few ‘brief remarks,’ which are usually not as brief as they should be.” This quote adds humor to the typical lengthy nature of commencement speeches.

Erma Bombeck reflects on the challenges of parenthood during graduation: “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After 22 years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” This quote humorously captures the transition parents undergo as their children graduate.

Lily Tomlin shares a humorous perspective on success: “The road to success is always under construction.” This light-hearted quote reminds graduates that the journey to success is continuous and may have unexpected detours.

George W. Bush delivers a comical message to both high achievers and the average students: “To those of you who are graduating this afternoon with high honors, awards, and distinctions, I say, ‘Well done.’ And as I like to tell the C students: You too, can be president.” This quote combines praise with a touch of humor for a memorable message.

Doug Larson comments on the perpetual nature of learning with, “The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.” This witty observation reflects the ongoing process of acquiring wisdom throughout life.

Bette Reese offers encouragement with a playful twist: “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” This humorous quote emphasizes the potential impact of even the seemingly small and insignificant.

Jon Stewart shares an exciting perspective on life: “The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” This quote encourages graduates to embrace the unpredictability of life and make their unique choices.

Frank A. Clark provides a reality check with, “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” This humorous quote reminds graduates that challenges are a natural part of any meaningful journey.

John Green injects humor into a common observation: “Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” This quote lightens the mood while acknowledging the diversity of academic experiences.

Aaron Sorkin offers a valuable lesson on resilience: “You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.” This inspirational yet humorous quote encourages graduates to persevere through challenges.

Neil Gaiman shares a witty perspective on wisdom: “Be wise because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.” This quote combines humor with a call for wisdom and integrity.

Andy Samberg playfully reflects on the transition from college to the real world: “You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.” This humorous quote captures the mix of emotions on graduation day.

Gary Trudeau offers a humorous take on commencement speeches: “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” This quote lightens the formality of graduation ceremonies with a dose of humor.

Lin-Manuel Miranda addresses graduates with both excitement and reassurance: “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” This quote acknowledges the mix of emotions graduates may be feeling as they step into the unknown.

Russell Baker shares practical advice about navigating the world: “The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.” This humorous quote adds a playful twist to the typical words of encouragement.

Mark Twain offers a timeless reflection on the balance between formal education and real-world learning: “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” This quote encourages graduates to continue learning beyond the confines of traditional education.

Napoleon Hill humorously comments on the dynamics of success and responsibility: “Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.” This quote provides a witty perspective on the relationship between financial reward and professional obligations.

An unknown source offers a lighthearted approach to post-graduation momentum: “When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.” This humorous quote adds a playful touch to the significance of receiving a diploma.