Top 20 most Funny Quotes and Pictures Collection

1. People say that money isn’t the key to happiness; however I always thought that if you had enough cash, you could have a key made. – Quote by Joan Rivers

2. People say everything is possible, but I still do nothing daily. -Quote by Winnie the Pooh

3. When I get sad, I try to cheer myself up by singing a song but most of the time, I find that my voice is worse than my troubles.

4. If folks are talking behind your back, then be glad that you are the one in front of them.

5. Cats have slaves, but dogs have masters.

6. A successful man is one who can make more cash than his partner can spend, but a successful partner is the one that can find such a successful man. – Quote by Lana Turner

7. I prayed to God for a bike, But I understand God does not work that way. So I went and stole one and prayed to God for forgiveness. – Quote by Emo Philips

8. Don’t argue with a fool. He will lower you down to his level and defeat you with his experience. – Quote by Greg King

9. If you steal content from one author, it becomes plagiarism but should you steal from many authors, it then becomes research. – Quote by Wilson Mizner

10. You beg to sleep some more in the morning, you are dying to sleep in the afternoon but at night you refuse to sleep.

11. You cut flowers, yet you love them. You eat animals, but you love them. Now I’m scared because you say you love me.

12. you spent the first couple of years of a child’s life teaching him or her to walk and talk. You then spend the next 16 years telling him or her to sit down and shut-up.

13. Money can never buy happiness and joy, but it makes misery a lot easier to cope and live with.

14. Nothing sucks more than that instance when you discover that you are wrong during a heated argument.

15. The fire department uses foam and water to fight fire, so don’t be tempted to fight fire with fire.

16. Hard work has never killed a person, but why take the chance?

17. A baby-sitter is a teen pretending to be an adult while the adults are pretending to be teens.

18. For those that disagree with me, I am sorry because I know they are all wrong – Quote by Woodrow Wilson

19. Every morning I realize it is a bad idea to stay up late every night.

20. They say that the right person will come my way, but I think mine was ran over by a truck.

 

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40 Funniest minions quotes


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